Two Experiences of the "Only in Thailand" Variety

1) I was biking home at like 10 o'clock and I had just stopped at a stoplight. I hear a motorbike pull up behind me and then some frantic whispering in Thai. And then some little kid squeaks "Hello how are you?" I turn around and there's a mother on a moto with a rolling squid stand attached like a sidecar. In her lap is a tiny kid, who she's prodding to speak to me. She figures, hey free English lessons from the farang for as long as the light stays red. But I'm thinking in the same moment, hey- possible Thai lesson. So they talk in English and I in Thai and we work out that we're both going home, we're both tired, and we both will be turning right when the light turns green. I bike the rest of the way home with them behind me, still trying to converse.

2) I went out to eat with the English teachers and staff from the International English Club where I tutor at night. We went to a really Thai place outside the city and had all kinds of dishes that you don't see in the farang-friendly places, and dishes that are too complicated to be made on the street. At dessert time, the Thai men at my end of the table started crowing about goong dten, and the girls were hiding their faces and saying mai chai, no. Someone told me that goong dten means dancing shrimp. So the waitress brought out a little bowl with a lid on a plate surrounded by salad. It looked pretty innocuous, so I lifted the lid to take a peep at the shrimp. And they jumped out of the bowl onto the table, because they were still alive. Dancing is a euphemism for live shrimp. People were freaking out and the shrimp were jumping everywhere. So the waitress put the lid back on, took the bowl and shook it like you would shake a martini. She uncovered it and the shrimp lay there, docile, pickling in a marinade of lemongrass and ginger. You had to pop them in your mouth and bite down before they woke up and started moving again. I had some hesitations after watching Aliens the other night, like these little guys were going to go into my stomach and then burst out my chest. But they were actually pretty good. It was a real affirmation of who's higher on the foodchain.